My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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