well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
