I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
