I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
