You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
