the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
