Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
