Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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