I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
