Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
