I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
