If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
