Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
