Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
