i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
