i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
