I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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