let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
