I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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