champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
