I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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