Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you win again, gameday.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
