Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
