last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
