Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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