I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
