just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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