I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
