where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
