Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
