JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
