Where is the hickey?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
