Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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