who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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