Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
