Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
