Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
