She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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