fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
