i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my shit smells like andre
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
