Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
