She tied me up with her honor cords...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
