then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
