I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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