Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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