they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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