bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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