he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
