You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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