Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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