He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
