i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
