Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
