An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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