Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
