My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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